The Facts of Life
Embassy Television Productions
1987-1988

Following a small supporting role (the first of his career) in Scott Baio's Greetings, Uncle! those on Hollywood's outside thought the Sicherman machine to be finally out of business, while on the inside it was known to be anything but. Sicherman managed to turn a brief but painful affair with Lisa Whelchel into a regular role on her hit sitcom, The Facts of Life.

Sicherman's character, Bruce Dandy, was a traveling showman who happened upon the girls one night when he was in need of a tow. They obliged in exchange for a song. One thing led to another and the show's setting reached its fifth and final incarnation, an Old West piano saloon cum brothel.

Tensions on the set were high from the moment of Sicherman's arrival. Nancy McKeon (Jo Poliazek), who had been appeasing the shows producers for the two years following her conversion to Islam by not wearing the traditional Burka headdress in scenes, felt the transformation of her character from an urban tomboy into a high priced prostitute was not only ludicrous but hugely offensive to her deeply held Muslim beliefs. Mindy Cohn and Kim Fields (Natalie Green and "Tootie" Ramsey respectively) were more concerned with the effect a season's worth of low-cut dresses and thinly veiled innuendo would have on their careers. For Cohn, it would leave her unable to find work again as an actress, and for Fields it would have no effect whatsoever. Only Sicherman, Cloris Leachman (Beverly Ann Stickle), and MacKenzie Astin (Andy Moffett) would be happy with the change. As for Lisa Whelchel (Blair Warner), she chose not to speak to anyone associated with the program following Sicherman's hiring, and to quietly ran out her contract. Her character was turned into a mime.

"It was awesome," says Astin. "I would just stare at Kim's boobs for hours. I used to call her Breastica. I don't care what she tells you, I know she thought it was funny."

For Leachman's part, the change was refreshing. "I've played a lot of parts in my day, but never a Civil War era madam. It was just the move my career needed. Now I'm a madam."

Every episode ended with Sicherman in white coat and tails singing a bawdy tune with Leachman at the piano. Ratings soared until it was discovered that Sicherman, as he had been in every project up to this time, had been working in violation of child labor laws. The show was shut down, and the entire cast, excepting Sicherman, was never heard from again.

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